Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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