we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
