One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
