not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
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He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
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I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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