Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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