I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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