Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
