well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
