just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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