Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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