I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Randomize
