D3 body, D1 cock
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
