I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
