What did we do last night that was yellow?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
