I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if only i could text you this smell
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Randomize
