I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
