the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
