my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
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Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
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i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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