I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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