you win again, gameday.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do you remember whose house we're in?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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