I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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