I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
