We named our party play list daddy issues
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
