We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just googled if crying burns calories
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize