i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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