Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
