Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
