marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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