do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
