ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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