Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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