A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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