Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my sisters under your porch take her home
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
