well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
