i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
