She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
