If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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