think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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