dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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