she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
