she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
