I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
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I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
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It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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