His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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