Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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