did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
