This is not my ceiling
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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