That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
are you so shy because you have an std?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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