Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
