I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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