Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
