What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
