he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
