Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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