Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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