We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
