____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize