what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
