Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
