Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
