The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
