I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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